


Hanging Half My Heart On You

by yermie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, First Time, I just have a deep need to write space gays, Kenma is a Jedi now I don't make the rules (yes I do), M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Telepathy, There is no plot but there is Backstory™, This is the first time I've written sin for years so I'm sorry?, You really need no Star Wars knowledge to read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:15:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26628874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yermie/pseuds/yermie
Summary: A former Jedi trainee and a stranded stow-away. They made quite a pair.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	Hanging Half My Heart On You

**Author's Note:**

> While you really don't need to have any Star Wars knowledge to understand the references, I will link some appropriate Wiki pages and images here: [The Jedi Conclave on Dantooine](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/2/2e/Dantooine_conclave.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20071006172459), [Kath Hounds](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kath_hound/Legends), [Ord Mantell](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ord_Mantell/Legends), [Scraplands](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Scraplands/Legends), [Hapes](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Hapes/Legends) and [Hapans](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Hapan). The fic is set broadly around the years of the Prequel Trilogy, but that doesn't really matter either!
> 
> Thank you to Riri, Fran and Goldie for bearing with me re-learning how to write this genre. Yes, I am naming and shaming you for your part in this. And for Aki, Blue, Chu and Randie—you lot were there too and I love you guys.

Kuroo did not believe in miracles.

He found too much solace and comfort in science to even consider the existence of miracles. Trusting in an unknowable deity that had created all and could destroy all in the blink of an eye was not something he ever pictured himself humouring.

No, Kuroo did _not_ believe in miracles. He never had and he never would. All he believed and trusted in was Kenma.

Kenma was a force greater than any other. If they had never met, Kuroo would be another street rat stealing on a contract to earn a couple of credits from a backstreet crime lord. Or he’d still be a stowaway hopping from planet to planet in another cramped cargo-hold, praying to the deity he didn’t believe in that the next planet could become his home.

He was a coincidental encounter who saved Kuroo’s life and gave him a reason to believe he could begin a better life. They were still children when their paths initially crossed; Kenma had caught Kuroo trying to steal food from the kitchens at the Jedi Academy on Dantooine. He had been stranded on the planet since he was discovered stowing away in a ship’s cargo-hold and remained slowly starving in a dusty cave until he gained enough courage to break into the Academy in search for food.

The next time Kuroo saw him, it was the day Kenma ran away from his training—a month before his thirteenth birthday. That was the day when Kuroo saved Kenma’s life with a few well-aimed blaster shots at an attacking Kath hound.

A former Jedi trainee and a stranded stow-away. They made quite a pair.

If it hadn’t been for Kenma he wouldn’t be sitting in their own (stolen) ship, enjoying another day of freedom cruising through the depths of space. The ship’s original owner had been _persuaded_ with a carefully prepared mind trick from Kenma and the pair had hijacked the vessel. Once they were safely in space, Kuroo had utilised his years of experience with technology to remove any identifying marks in the computer systems that could identify the previous owner.

This ship was the first real thing they’d owned since their escape from Dantooine together nearly a decade ago.

Kuroo lounged in the pilot’s seat, fingers drifting across the controls mindlessly. He loved the feel of the sleek buttons and switches. _His_ sleek buttons and switches.

The whole universe lay around them, like a deep and silky ocean. Stars and planets and suns glittered in the velvet. Kuroo wanted to see them all.

‘Pick a star and I’ll take you there,’ Kuroo announced, turning in his seat to cock a grin at his co-pilot. Kenma rarely did any co-piloting but had claimed the chair almost instantly upon them stealing the ship.

Kenma was the very definition of relaxed. He curled up in the seat, boots long removed in favour of being barefoot. His dark robes were loosened, giving Kuroo a good view of his collarbone.

‘You’re trying to show off,’ Kenma deadpanned, _‘Again.’_

Even in Kenma’s bluntness, Kuroo couldn’t help but feel fond of him. The many years of their friendship had helped them get used to each other’s quirks and habits. He knew Kenma as well as he knew himself, perhaps even better.

‘Maybe I am,’ he admitted with a light laugh. Kenma raised an eyebrow, a smile ghosting on his lips. Kuroo couldn’t hold back a smile of his own at the boy who somehow hadn’t grown tired of him yet. ‘What’s on your mind, space wizard?’

The cockpit lights flickered suddenly around them as Kenma glared at him. He’d never liked Kuroo’s nicknames that reminded him of his past as a Jedi trainee. Although it had been years since his training had ended, Kenma still saw himself as a failed Jedi that no Master would choose as their Padawan. The only reason he let Kuroo tease him was because... _it was Kuroo_.

‘Next time you want to steal a ship, I’m not helping you. _Don’t call me that.’_

Kuroo feigned a hurt expression, dramatically clutching his heart, ‘But without you, my sweet _mage,_ how will I survive?’

Kenma pressed his lips together, suppressing a smile. Kuroo always thought he looked so cute when he tried to hide his true feelings. ‘Keep calling me dumb nicknames and you can sleep on the floor.’

When they first stole the ship, they had agreed to share a bed. There were two separate bunks they could use for the pilot and a passenger but personal circumstances made more sense for them to sleep beside each other.

Kuroo couldn’t sleep unless the lights were all turned off. Living on the streets of Ord Mantell City as a pre-teen and being wary of street gangs, he’d grown used to staying awake as long as he was surrounded by light.

In contrast, Kenma couldn’t see in the dark. Their night time agreement meant Kuroo could sleep soundly in darkness and Kenma could be within reach of someone who wasn’t blind in the dark.

Although he looked human, Kenma was originally from Hapes. Hapans were known for their uncontested beauty and their terrible night vision, which came from having their planet’s skies constantly illuminated by seven moons. He hadn’t been home since the day he was taken away to join the Academy. 

Of all the stars, planets and suns Kuroo wanted to see, he wanted to take Kenma to see his home most of all.

‘Do you really want to go to Hapes someday?’ Kenma questioned uncertainly.

‘You’re reading my mind again,’ Kuroo stated instead of asking. 

‘I can’t help it when your thoughts are so loud.’

One downside of spending all your time with a Jedi is that they can tell what you’re thinking. Kenma was always good at reading people, but sometimes his untrained ability to read minds meant he knew _exactly_ what Kuroo was thinking.

He’d made Kenma promise him that he would never use the Force to make him do anything he didn’t want to. And in return, Kuroo promised to always be by his side.

‘Where do you think you’d be right now if you’d stayed?’ Kuroo wondered.

He didn’t have to explain what he was referring to for Kenma to break their eye contact and ball up smaller in the co-pilot’s chair.

‘A bad place,’ Kenma admitted honestly, his voice barely louder than a whisper. ‘Anywhere without you is a bad place.’

Leaving the captain’s seat, Kuroo stood in front of where Kenma was curled up. He ran his fingers through Kenma’s hair gently, the younger boy leaning into his touch with a content hum.

‘Me too,’ Kuroo agreed in a low voice. ‘If I hadn’t left home, I probably would be dead.’

Both his parents had been killed in the Scraplands of Ord Mantell, salvaging old ship parts to sell. Kuroo sometimes went with them, but only when it was daylight and no creatures were hunting. The day he found their bodies, savaged and broken, he left home to sleep on the streets—it was cheaper that way. He worked with local mechanics, earning enough credits to feed him once a day.

If Kuroo had stayed on Ord Mantell he would still be on the streets and starving, assuming a street gang hadn’t killed him.

Kenma would probably be living with other Force-sensitives who hadn’t been chosen as Padawans before they turned thirteen doing manual work or farming that no one else would do. Having known Kenma for many years now, Kuroo could not imagine him doing any hard work. It wasn’t that he was lazy, rather that he rarely saw the point.

‘Hey idiot, stop thinking so loudly. You’ve stopped doing that with your hands.’

Kuroo blinked back and realised he had stopped running his fingers through Kenma’s hair. Mumbling an apology, he resumed and Kenma gave a rare gentle smile in appreciation.

‘For someone who worked as a mechanic, you have really nice hands,’ Kenma gave a content sigh.

‘You like my hands?’ Kuroo gazed down imploringly at his companion, a curious smile on his lips.

Kenma didn’t answer him immediately but grabbed his shirt, pulling Kuroo down on to his lap. He kept his grasp on the fabric, ‘Not just your hands.’

The chair was not big enough for the two of them and creaked under their combined weights. Their thighs were pressed against each other on the seat, both of them feeling increasingly warm. Kuroo’s heart raced, his hands starting to tremble in Kenma’s hair.

‘We’ve done this before, how come you’re nervous?’ Kenma asked him, concerned. No, Kenma didn’t do “concern”. He sounded… unsure that he was doing the right thing. Now _that_ was something Kenma did often.

Kenma regularly became anxious about whether he was allowed to behave and think as he did, thanks to his training at the Academy. According to their training, he wasn’t supposed to feel anything except the Force. It had taken a long time for Kuroo to get him to feel comfortable with being open with his emotions.

‘I’m not nervous,’ Kuroo breathed back, fingers tightening around blonde strands.

‘Right. Neither am I.’

They stared deeply at each other for a few moments, quiet except for the sounds of their breaths. Kuroo didn’t want to be the one to make the first move, always preferring for Kenma to take control when he was ready.

Love was forbidden to the Jedi. Since Kenma was a child through his training, that teaching hadn’t affected him back then. But now as a conflicted near-adult, he had told Kuroo that he still heard the scolding of his former teachers in his head. Kuroo respected that it was difficult for Kenma to disobey rules he’d grown up with, so gave him as much time as necessary to relax.

When Kenma leaned in and touched their lips together, Kuroo knew he was comfortable and acting upon his own will. Eyes falling closed, he sighed into the kiss and pushed closer, clenching his fists tighter in Kenma’s hair. The hands grasping his shirt fell to his hips, holding on like Kenma might lose Kuroo if he let go.

His thighs ached from how they were pressed so tightly on the chair; Kuroo adjusted his position slightly to try and get more comfortable. He should have known better than to underestimate a mind-reader. 

Kenma pulled back and as Kuroo opened his eyes, he saw a fire in Kenma’s gaze through strands of fallen hair.

‘We can move to the bunk if you’re uncomfortable here,’ Kenma suggested, his voice lower than usual.

They’d never taken their relationship as far as their bunk before. In fact, they very rarely talked about their relationship at all and what they both wanted from it. Kuroo couldn’t pretend that he’d never thought about the things they may do together one day.

It was hard to pin down the point when they became an item. For as long as he could remember, Kuroo had loved Kenma. However, once they got to know each other properly after living for months on the dirty Corellian backstreets, Kuroo learned that Kenma may never truly love him back the same.

Kenma wasn’t completely void of emotions despite what most people believed, but he made an effort to suppress his more intense emotions. He was 14 when Kuroo first saw him angry, the time a group of street thugs robbed the credits they were saving to get them out of debt. He was 16 when Kuroo first saw him excited, the day they finally paid off the same debts to a Corellian crime lord—the day they found out they had credits to spare that could take them somewhere safer. And he was 18 when Kuroo thought maybe he’d been wrong assuming Kenma would never love him back, the day Kenma kissed the air out of his lungs.

Kuroo mentally noted that today, Kenma was giving in to desire. He finally admitted to himself that yes, he was nervous about what they were doing. Standing up and straightening his crumpled shirt, he offered a hand to Kenma.

‘Do you think you’re ready for this?’ Kuroo checked, leading Kenma by the hand down the ship’s corridors to their bunk. He wondered if Kenma felt his pulse hammering as they both seated themselves on the bed once Kuroo had discarded his boots.

Finally, Kenma answered him. ‘I trust you, Kuro. Yes.’

Golden eyes as warm as sunshine gazed deeply at Kuroo, who inhaled sharply and decided that he was also comfortable with this. He took Kenma’s hands in his own once more, gently massaging the back of one with the pad of his thumb. As Kenma’s eyes fluttered closed and lips slightly parted, Kuroo closed the distance between them.

He felt the younger press deeper into the kiss, heavy breaths escaping his lips. Hands tugged at his shirt and Kuroo let his lips fall open. A hesitant tongue brushed over his bottom lip for a few moments before sinking into Kuroo’s mouth. The cabin’s lights flickered as Kenma clenched his eyes closed firmer and their tongues moved across each others’.

All his focus was on _Kenma_. Kuroo had never seen him like this before—fervent and wanting.

The hands that grasped his shirt stilled, palms lying flat against his chest. Kuroo’s heart was pounding as Kenma pulled away. He looked up at Kuroo, eyes dark but unsure, trying to catch his breath. The room was dimly lit but there was no doubt that the Hapan could still see and feel everything.

‘I… I didn’t think you would be so affected by this,’ Kenma admitted, face flushed.

Kuroo smoothed his hair absent-mindedly and blinked in surprise, ‘Really? I’ve been in love with you for so long… this is _driving me crazy.’_

The lights shut off completely around them, only the faint light from the corridor lighting the room; Kuroo watched Kenma’s shoulders rise and fall with his still ragged breathing. He touched the younger’s knee softly, frowning slightly and wondering if he’d said too much.

Kenma was a perfect example of someone who preferred to act instead of speak. He had explained before to Kuroo that it took less time and effort to simply show what he meant, rather than stumble to find the correct words. And if actions couldn’t explain what he wanted, Kuroo could speak for him.

So it wasn’t a shock when Kenma didn’t say anything.

Watching Kenma remove the sash around his robes, however, was not something Kuroo expected to see. His hands moved blindly in the dark and discarded both the sash and tunic, then reached to grasp Kuroo’s shirt again.

Kuroo leaned in, guiding Kenma into a rough kiss. Teeth grazed against his lips and he couldn’t hold back the breathy moan that echoed in the cabin. Kenma lay back on the bunk, pulling Kuroo down with him into a straddle. The lights flickered again, dimly lighting the beauty that was Kenma Kozume lying half-dressed beneath him. He carefully brushed the hair out of Kenma’s face, so completely enamoured.

Hands reached underneath Kuroo’s shirt, ghosting touches over the tender skin of his abdomen. He buried his head in the crook of Kenma’s neck as fingers brushed down his sides; a heat burned in his stomach, rising up and beginning to overwhelm him. Kuroo pressed his lips over a nerve, sucking a mark into sensitive skin.

‘A-ah… _Tetsurou_ …’ Kenma gasped beneath him, his hips trembling. Kuroo grinned against the younger boy’s neck. ‘Don’t s-stop... please.’

He pulled back momentarily to lift his shirt, tossing it away and kissing along Kenma’s collarbone. Kenma squirmed, sinking one shaking hand into dark curls and the other clinging to Kuroo’s hip. Both of them were burning with the heat of the moment, desperately seeking more while afraid of moving too fast.

Kuroo placed a much softer kiss over Kenma’s heart, then drew back to take in how wrecked the younger was already. Strands of half-dyed blonde hair stuck to Kenma’s face with glistening sweat, the rest of his hair was displaced. He watched Kuroo with heavy-lidded eyes, his lips were parted and swelling. Blotchy purple marks over his neck and collarbone were still damp with saliva.

There was also the obvious fact that both of them were hard in their pants. Every inch of his body was beginning to ache from the sensation, or rather from the lack of attention. Kenma had to know he was hungry to be touched… he _had_ to feel the same. He hesitantly traced at the base of Kenma’s stomach but held back. Doubt began to cross his mind.

A hand clasped around his wrist. ‘You’re nervous?’

Kuroo nodded.

And Kenma smiled the warmest smile Kuroo had seen in a while. ‘So am I,’ he breathed, ‘But isn’t that normal? We’ve never done this before.’

Kenma released his wrist and Kuroo watched dumbly as the former raised his hips and removed his pants. There he was, wearing nothing but underwear lying beneath his only companion in the past decade, love bitten and patiently waiting to go further.

_If he didn’t trust you,_ Kuroo thought, _he wouldn’t let you see him like this._

Resolved that this wasn’t just something both of them wanted but it was also something both of them were ready for, Kuroo removed his belt to take off his pants too. The second the pants dropped to the cabin’s floor, he breathed a relieved sigh at having one less layer constricting him.

He mustered some confidence and touched a few fingers against the wet patch in Kenma’s underwear. The younger gasped sharply and threw his head back, clenching his eyes closed. Enjoying the positive reaction, Kuroo let his whole hand feel the outline of the member through the material. It was completely unlike how it felt to touch himself.

Kenma pressed his hips up against Kuroo’s palm, hungry for the friction. Seeing Kenma come undone from a few brushes of his fingers only made Kuroo want to tear him apart even further. He never let himself seem vulnerable to others, internalising everything; this was something special.

_‘I don’t think I can say it out loud,’_ Kuroo heard in his thoughts, faltering for a moment before seeing the burning look in Kenma’s eyes, _‘But please don’t hold back.’_

He pressed his thumb against the tip and received a choked moan in return. ‘So you’re going to flirt through telepathy now?’ Kenma clutched Kuroo’s hips firmly, fingertips teasing the waistband of the latter’s underwear. Kuroo breathed in every touch.

_‘It’s not flirting. I’m just telling you to touch me.’_

With the clear consent to continue, Kuroo removed the underwear and grasped Kenma’s shaft. Kenma thrust into his fist almost instantly, burying a fist in his mouth to suppress the cry that escaped his lips. Kuroo swore under his breath, then moved his hand slowly along the length.

Distracted by making sure he was making Kenma feel good, he didn't notice the hands pulling down his own underwear until one clenched his own member. Kuroo groaned, thighs shaking as Kenma jerked his fist more. He struggled to remember he should be doing the same for the younger—the feel of an unfamiliar touch against him was overwhelming.

‘Kenma--’ he gasped, trying to mirror the strokes that were driving him crazy. Kenma squirmed beneath him, panting heavier with each jerk of the wrist.

Another hand grabbed his hip, nails digging into the skin, and pulled him down. They collided, increasingly sensitive and hard. Kuroo’s legs gave in and he practically collapsed on Kenma. The younger gasped at the sudden weight on his body, then rolled them over.

‘I’m close.’ Kuroo shuddered at the sight of Kenma straddling him. Kenma nodded and rolled his hips down. Kuroo had never felt anything like the friction of another shaft against his own; he thought he might cry from how good he felt. They rocked against each other desperately.

_‘I really love you. I really really do.’_

With the unexpected telepathic confession, Kuroo shook as his hips jerked up one last time and he came hard against Kenma. It didn’t take much longer for Kenma to join him, the room’s lights flaring as he sobbing into Kuroo’s shoulder and riding out the aftershock.

They were sticky with sweat and sticky with love, but Kuroo didn’t care. He wrapped his arms around Kenma, who remained trembling, and embraced him tenderly.

‘I meant it,’ Kenma mumbled tiredly into Kuroo’s shoulder. ‘I meant every thought.’

He moved off Kuroo, lying beside him and lacing his fingers in Kuroo’s. Kenma looked exhausted. Kuroo _felt_ exhausted.

‘We should clean off,’ Kuroo sighed, though he didn’t think his legs could carry him anywhere.

_‘Later,’_ he heard Kenma’s voice tell him. _‘Let me just take in this moment with you.’_

Kuroo smiled fondly, squeezing his hand despite how sweaty they both were. How lucky he was to have Kenma in his life.

He added to his mental list of Kenma's greatest emotional moments: he was 19 when he first confessed to Kuroo that he loved him back. The day that they rocked against each other in the cabin of their very own (stolen) ship. And soon, they would go to Hapes together to Kenma's home planet.

Kuroo was sure that miracles weren't real now. It was impossible, after all, for anything to be greater, more powerful and more real than Kenma Kozume's entire existence.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, hello! This fic is a lot of first for me so it's kind of special. It's the first Haikyuu fic I've written and the first anime fic since the dark years of my Youth. It's the first mature fic I've written in years too. God knows this was a terrifying experience for me.
> 
> And more importantly, this is my first fic since graduating university and since getting accepted to do a Creative Writing Masters. I have a lot more writing coming up in the next few years and hopefully longer, that's for sure.
> 
> Lurkergang, I love you all. Thank you for putting up with my highs and lows for the past two years and for cheering me along this path. I hope my parents will still love me now I've written filth.
> 
> Let me know if you liked this. Thank you for giving me your time.


End file.
